Ouch fuck fuck fuck FUCK
I lay on the ground groaning, suddenly aware that I had really fucked up this time. The security guard glared at me with a look that said ‘you really fucked it up this time’.
What a year this has been. This time last year, I had finally moved to Bondi – but I couldn’t savor the salt ocean breeze every morning with a yoga / cacao / meditation ritual as I would have liked to. Instead, I slept in every day I could, and every night found out how many tramadol tablets I could ingest with a glass of wine without swallowing my own tongue and waking myself up in a gagging fit as I passed out (it’s 6 by the way).
Of course I deserved it though.
I played a stupid game and won a stupid prize. How did I dislocate my shoulder anyway?
Oh yeah. Outside of Universal Nightclub on a Thursday night at approximately 02:33 AM. Or was it a Wednesday? I don’t know. Too many long islands.
I wanted to show off my human flag pole stunt I had just learned on a stopping sign. A flagpole is the move where you hold yourself completely horizontal off of a pole by just holding onto it with your hands. I had done it many times before. Except I had just started a new hair care regime which involved copious amounts of coconut oil in my hair.
Coconut is slippery
As I launched my legs up and braced my core to hold my body horizontally off the pole, my hands barely made a sound as my palms glided downwards across the bar. That was bad.
When I impacted the concrete sidewalk with my shoulder, my head bounced off the ground twice. I heard a crunching, not quite snapping noise like a chicken wing being pulled apart that only a ligament could make. I had really fucked up this time. How I continued to party that night, I really don’t know. It was probably peer pressure looking back on it.
The hospital told me that my clavicle was 2.5 mm above my scapula, and that it wouldn’t reattach on its own.
I was going to need surgery
12 months later, the shoulder is healed, I stuck to my recovery regimen, and I will endure to make the most of the summer ahead. Your health is something you rarely learn to be grateful for until it’s taken away from you. There is going to be a music release so keep tuned for that! I can’t wait to share what I’ve been cooking up with you. On the bad side, my shoulder will never be as good as it was again. But on the bright side, when I’m 6 ft under and all memory of me and my music fades away with the eons, there will still be a glimmer in my casket. The glimmer of the titanium screw which had kept my clavicle devoutly fastened to my scapula. I was in too much pain and in too much of a pessimistic mood to have a new year’s resolution December last year, but this year I think I’ll just strive for gratitude.
You never know what you have until it’s gone.